You got really tired of being a nice person. It’s such a hectic job to do every day that it feels like labour. Agreeing with people even when you know they are wrong, just because you don’t want to upset them. Choosing silence over conflict so everything stays peaceful. Saying yes when you want to say no — not because you have a reason, but simply because you don’t want to say no.

Laughing at their jokes even when the joke is on you, and it makes you uncomfortable as hell. You don’t throw anything back at them because you don’t want to hurt them, even when they hurt you first. They expect you to stay kind, polite, and humble while they treat you badly. And you keep doing it because you are a “nice soul.” You tolerate the mistreatment, swallow the disrespect, silence yourself, put on a smile, and continue being nice.

But what is a nice soul? A good soul without boundaries. And being nice is not the same as being good.

Slowly, you realise this. One day, you’ve had enough of people’s nonsense because you understand it never ends. As long as you stay quiet and agreeable, everything is fine. You are the greatest person in the world. But the moment you stand up for yourself, you become the bad guy.

After that realisation, you start drawing boundaries. Not dramatic. Not loud. No big confrontation. Just quiet changes. Saying no clearly, without excuses. Speaking your truth without fear of judgment. Taking a stand for yourself. Choosing distance instead of arguing with a wall.

And suddenly, you are “difficult.” You’ve changed. You’ve seen too much. They act like you are doing something terrible. They make you feel guilty without any wrongdoing. They blame you for your reactions. They make you question yourself.

But you are not difficult. You just no longer cooperate with their imbalance.

You need to understand why your response becomes the problem, not their behaviour. Because people confuse goodness with niceness. Your niceness made their life easier. They can use you to their convenience. But now, as you draw boundaries, your goodness becomes inaccessible to them. You make them uncomfortable. You ask questions that they avoid. You don’t follow the old unsaid rules anymore. And your response makes them feel accountable because they have relied on your silence until now.

Set boundaries, don’t change who you are. It only makes you inaccessible to harm. You are never difficult to those who care about you enough to try to understand you. Who respects you for who you are, not what you do for them.

When you choose goodness over niceness, you choose yourself over people’s approval and validation. Of course, you have to pay the price to have fewer people and occasional loneliness in your life. But you also gain quieter relationships, emotional steadiness, and clean peace. Being nice doesn’t mean becoming bad or cruel. It just means being good with boundaries. You can still be kind, humble and polite, but keep your self-respect.

Read more like this: The Quiet Life