I’ve been living here for the last five months. It’s a nice place to live. Warm and safe.

My tiny body is growing well here. My nose, mouth, and ears are taking shape. I can make different expressions. My skeleton is hardening—from cartilage to bone. I’ve developed some abilities: I can hear, sense light. Now I almost look like an unborn child. Yes, I am an unborn child living in my mom’s womb. It was a secret, but now people can see my mom’s growing belly.

Today, we’re going to Kota — Mom, me, Nana Ji (mom’s father), and my elder brother. Mom’s family lives in Kota. Nana Ji came to Kolkata two days ago to take us there. My parents tried to manage everything, but it was difficult for my mom in her 6th month. She is weak. This journey will be long. I want to go home. It’s not safe outside. A lot of noise here. Nights are good and peaceful. Everyone else is asleep, but I am still awake. So I want to tell you what I have discovered in these last five months.

My parents live in Kolkata. My father works in a private company. We live in a house, and to me, it’s a big house. I have an elder sister — I don’t know where she is. I have a big brother too, and he is always around me. Yes, I am the third child, and this is the main problem. I am the problem.

The day my parents found out I was coming, they were so happy. But humans aren’t truly happy until they share their happiness with others. So, my mom called her mom and told her she was pregnant for the third time. I don’t know what happened then, but after that call, mom was not happy. A few days later, Nana Ji called mom and said he was coming here. Mom said no. That wasn’t the first time mom refused help from her family. After that call, mom was angry.

“When they don’t want my child, why do they call every day? How easily they said it’s not needed,” mom said.

“Listen, Manvi, this is our child, and we love our child because we are parents. But it’s not important that everyone feels the same,” dad said.

“But they are my family, Naren. How can they say such things?” mom was still angry.

“And that’s why they apologized. Yes, yesterday I talked to your parents. Your mummy already loves our child, and your papa apologized for whatever they said about our child,” dad explained.

“Fine… I will think about this,” mom said calmly.

“At least, Manvi, your family supports us, not like mine,” dad said hopelessly.

My dad’s family never shows interest in our lives, but mom’s family always supports us. Sounds pleasant, but… not for me.

If you found out you were unnecessary, how would you feel? You’re extra. Of course, you’d hate them like I do, but no… wait. They’re kind people because they are letting me be born in this world. Because maybe I am a boy, but I want to shout out loud that I am a girl. Shh… this is still a secret. People in your world say parents love every child. So my parents are not different. They love me a lot.

Finally, Nana Ji came to Kolkata to convince mom. And I want to say, if everyone is a warrior, then my mom is a legendary warrior. After a long discussion and argument, she agreed to go with Nana Ji — on one condition that no one says a word about her child.

“Your child is growing well, Manvi. You should rest now. Don’t think so much. The baby is affected by your thoughts,” Dr. Avina said.

“Everything’s fine, right, Dr.?” Nani asked worriedly.

“Of course everything is fine,” Dr. Avina replied happily.

“She is strong,” mom whispered.

“How do you know your baby is a girl?” the doctor asked.

“Because this is my baby,” mom laughed. Dr. Avina and Nani joined in.

Now I can sense what’s happening around me.

We got back home. Two months passed here. Now we are in Kota. When we reached home, Arun mama (mom’s brother) was playing with my brother. Varun mama (mom’s second brother) had returned from college. My sister also came back from school, but Nana Ji was still at college — he teaches there.

“So, how’s your baby, Manvi di?” Arun mama asked.

Mom didn’t bother to reply, so Nani said, “Everything is fine. She is weak. She should rest.”

“Di, you’re troubling yourself unnecessarily. You already have two beautiful children. You don’t need another,” Varun mama said arrogantly.

My Varun mama is the third child like me, but he is a boy.

“By the way, Varun, what happened last night? Is your friend okay?” mom asked dramatically.

“Yes di, everything is fine,” Varun mama replied, nervous and angry.

“Why do you ask, Manvi? What happened last night?” Nani asked.

“Nothing, maa. Varun talked to someone on the phone, so I thought something was wrong,” mom said.

Nani started asking a thousand questions to Varun mama — her best way of taking funny revenge on her brother. Arun mama quickly went to his room. Whenever Nana Ji isn’t around, they both tease mom like this.

Mom, please get me out of here. I am burning.

Mom was shouting, screaming, and crying. Arun mama took a cab and called Dr. Avina, so she was ready for us. Nana and Nani took us to the hospital.

I can’t live here. It’s so hot. I am dying.

When we reached the hospital, Dr. Avina and Arun mama were already waiting.

“Don’t worry Manvi… everything will be all right. We are all here for you,” Dr. Avina said, trying to calm mom. But mom kept crying, repeating those lines to me.

We were in the room, and outside Nana Ji became anxious and asked the doctor about us.

“We will try our best, but we may lose the baby,” Dr. Avina said.

People around me see me like I am not a child. Why are they looking at me like this?

“There are marks of burning on her body. Are they permanent?” No doubt, he is my Arun mama.

“She is so red. I think when she grows up she will turn black,” Varun mama said.

Just wait, both of you. Once I grow up, I will teach you a good lesson. Tolerate my cry for now.

A lady came and took me in her arms, saying, “Look at her face, she’s so cute, and her eyes so beautiful.” Of course, she is my Nani.

My Nana Ji looked at me lovingly. A beautiful little girl, older than me, came close and touched me carefully. She is my sister. And finally, I saw him — my dad. He took me in his arms. I think he had just arrived.

“What name do you want to give her, Manvi?” Dr. Avina asked.

Mom looked at me lovingly and said, “She is my brave, strong, and beautiful girl. She is my Kanak.”

And so I started living in this world with the name Kanak.

The End.

TheSparklingWords // Anushree Vaishnav