I have two pieces of news for you—one bad and one good. The bad news? The root of most of your problems is you. The good news? The solution to every one of those problems is also you.

You own your life. But maybe you’ve forgotten that while trying to share it with others. Maybe you started thinking that other people have just as much claim over your life as you do. That you’re just another character in your own story, like a guest living in your own home. But that’s not true. You’re not a side character. You are the core of your story.

No matter how much someone loves you, cares for you, or wants to protect you, they can’t live your life for you. They can’t solve your problems—and they shouldn’t. Because even if they try, they can only shield you from pain for a little while. But life? Life will always come with problems. That’s part of the deal.

You are not responsible for anyone else’s emotions, actions, or choices—and they aren’t responsible for yours either. I once read, “A healthy relationship is when two people solve their own problems to feel good about each other.” That made so much sense. If you want strong relationships, work on your own life and let others do the same.

You are the problem because everything that happens to you, happens because, at some level, you allowed it. And you are the solution because no one can make better choices for you than you can. It’s your life. You know it best.

Life is full of problems—it always will be. But the beauty is: you get to choose your problems. You get to decide what’s worth struggling for. We always have options. There’s rarely only one way. But people get so stuck on chasing just one thing, as if nothing else exists. They forget that nothing in this world is constant—except you. And that’s exactly why you shouldn’t lose yourself.

As long as you have yourself, you can rebuild, restart, recover—again and again. Sometimes we chase something so desperately—that one thing—and in the process, we lose ourselves, we lose people. And even if we finally get it, can we even enjoy it? What I believe is: if you don’t enjoy the process, you won’t enjoy the result either. Because the process is where life actually happens. It’s the long, real, meaningful part—not the finish line.

So choose your problems wisely. Because your problems will be the path you walk. And if you’re going to spend your life solving them, you better choose the ones that matter.

TheSparklingWords // Anushree Vaishnav